How Cold Is Cold?
60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
50 Miami residents turn on the heat
40 You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming
35 Italian cars don’t start
32 Water freezes
30 You plan your vacation to Australia
25 Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans […]
Things You Wouldn’t Know Without The Tube All Of Life’s Mysteries Are On TV
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade - at any time of the year.
All […]
Signs You’re Really Broke
American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!”
Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant.
You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
You’ve rolled so many pennies, you’ve formed a psychic bond with Abe.
Long distance companies no longer call you to […]
Top Ten Television Shows in Iraq
“Husseinfeld”
“Mad About Everything”
“U.S. Military Secrets Revealed”
“Suddenly Sanctions”
“Allah McBeal”
“Wheel of Fortune and Terror”
“Achmed’s Creek”
“Iraq’s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers”
“Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs”
“Just Shoot Me”
Useless Inventions
Non stick Cellotape
Solar Powered Flash Light
A black highlighter pen
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Inflatable Anchor
Smooth Sandpaper
Waterproof sponge
Waterproof Teabags
AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
Fireproof Matches
Fireproof Cigarettes
Battery powered Battery Charger
Seatbelts for Motorbikes
Hand powered Chainsaw
Inflatable Dartboard
Silent Alarm Clock
A Pedal powered wheelchair […]
Gas Prices vs ?
People have been complaining about the rising price of gasoline recently, but I have always thought that gas was a good value (especially if you were to take the $0.30, $0.40 per gallon tax off at the pump)! Obviously others need a little convincing. So the article in this week’s “Autoweek” magazine […]
Things To Think About Our Government:
29 Members of Congress have been accused of spousal abuse.
7 Have been arrested for fraud.
19 Have been accused of writing bad checks.
117 Have bankrupted at least two businesses.
3 Have been arrested for assault.
71 Have credit reports so bad they can’t qualify for a credit […]
You Know You’re In California When…
The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
You were born somewhere else.
You know how to eat an artichoke.
The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.
Your car has bulletproof windows.
Left is right and right is wrong.
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual […]
You Are Maliciously Internet Addicted When:
You kiss your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s home page.
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone […]
Helpful Tips To Make Life Simpler
Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.
Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the […]