Mrs Beckham wants to buy a microwave. So she goes in and asks the salesman, “How much for that microwave?” The salesman replies, “We don’t sell Microwaves to thick Beckhams.” So the next day she dyes her hair red, dresses in disguise, and goes in and asks the same question. The sales clerk answers, […]
David Beckham is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a ‘tragedy’. One little boy stands up and offers “that if my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street and a car came along and killed him that would […]
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Man Utd are playing Chelsea at Old Trafford one Saturday afternoon. Fifteen minutes into the game George Weah is adjudged to have fouled Jaap Stam at a corner and furiously shouts and remonstrates at the ref. Upon seeing this, Beckham goes up to Weah, puts a finger up to his lips and says “Shhhhh”.Then he […]
Why does David Beckham lose when playing poker?
He keeps getting red cards.
David Beckham walks into a pub.
The barman says “Pint, Dave?”
Beckham replies “No, just a half then I’m off.”
David Beckham walks into a pub.
The barman says “Pint, Dave?”
Beckham replies “No, just a half then I’m off.”
Alex Ferguson is on his way to training one morning and, as usual, stops by David beckham’s house to give him a lift. He knocks at the door, only for it to be answered by a pale and drawn looking Beckham.
“Och, David. Your no looking too good this morning”
“For sure, Mr Ferguson, I am […]
David Beckham is on top of the main stand at Old Trafford ready to jump off after a nightmare first half of the Premiership and World Cup campaign. He’s lost the World Cup for England by getting himself sent off and everyone and his dog hates him, Posh Spice has dumped him for Michael […]
David Beckham walks into a sperm donor bank, “I’d like to donate some sperm” he says to the receptionist.
“Certainly Sir” replies the receptionist, “have you donated before?”.
“Yes” replies Beckham “you should have my details on your computer”.
“Oh yes, I’ve found your details” says the receptionist “but I see you’re going to need help. Shall […]
David Beckham goes down to breakfast with Posh Spice. She takes one look at him and fawns, “Mmm, David you look great.” Not one to miss his cue, Beckham does the necessary: pretty soon, they’re getting down to a good old bit of heavy petting on the kitchen table. Posh Spice runs her hands […]