A collection of insults!


  • I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub.
  • I heard you went to have your head examined, but the doctors found nothing there.
  • Don’t get me wrong. I`m not trying to make a monkey out of you. I can`t take the credit.
  • This is no battle of wits between you and me. I never pick on an unarmed man.
  • Look, don’t go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you’ve got a palm.
  • Hey! I know what sign you were born under! RED LIGHT DISTRICT
  • !

  • I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?
  • We think of you when we are lonely. Then we are content to be alone.
  • Hey, how come even though you are still alive your parents are in mourning for you?
  • I’d like to break the monotony; where’s your weakest point?
  • The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?
  • I hear you are an officer. Your rank is — just plain rank!
  • You say you are a West Pointer, but you look like an Irish Setter.
  • You are so fat that I hear you were arrested three times for jay-walking when all the time you were just standing on the corner waiting for the light to change.
  • Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic
  • .