Baby Jokes

What’s worse than 6 babies in one jar?
One baby in 6 jars…

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
When the kids are in college.

When a baby is being born, why do they boil water?
So that if its born dead they can make soup.

What’s BABYLON?
The stuff you spray on babies before you iron them.

I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
With any luck, right after they finish college

How do you get a thousand dead babies into a Volkswagen?
With a blender.

What are the terrible twos?
Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey

Did you know that it takes five babies to make just one bottle of baby oil?

Why did the family take the dead baby along on the cookout?
So they could light it and toast their marshmallows.

How does one sanitize nipples?
Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.