Jokes » Blonde Jokes

Two cartons of yogurt

Administrator — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 11:13:33 +0000

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, “Why not? We’re cultured individuals.”

Three strings walk into a bar

Administrator — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 11:12:37 +0000

Three strings walk into a bar. The bartender throws them out, yelling “Can’t you read the sign?! I don’t serve strings.” The strings try again, and again the bartender kicks them out. Finally, one of the strings gets the idea to mess himself up a little. He walks into the bar. The bartender scowls, “What’s wrong with you? Can’t you read? I don’t serve strings!” The string replies, “I’m a frayed knot!”

Three men walked

Administrator — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 11:11:55 +0000

Three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

Three men walked

Administrator — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 11:10:53 +0000

Three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

Three men walk up to an empty bar

Administrator — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 11:08:00 +0000

Three men walk up to an empty bar. They share a few drinks, and one of the guys turns to the other guys and says, “I bet ya my dick is longer than yours.” Both guys plop their dicks on the bar. “Yep, that’s a mighty long dick you have there, but mine is longer.” The guy on the end looks at both of them, and pulls out his, “but mine is longer still.” The guys agree, he had the longest dick. A few seconds later, a fag walks into the bar, turns to the bartender and says, “I’ll have what they’re having.”

Skeleton walks into a bar

Administrator — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 11:07:30 +0000

This skeleton walks into a bar and says, “I’d like a beer and a mop…”

Roll of Tarmac

Administrator — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 11:07:00 +0000

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm. The barman asks “What’ll it be?”
The man says, “I’ll have half a bitter, and one for the road.”

Man with lizard

Administrator — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 11:06:28 +0000

A man walked into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder. The barman asked whats the lizard was called, to which the man replied “Tiny”.
“Why did u call him that?” asked the barman.
“Because, he’s my newt!!”

Plate of spagetti in a bar

Administrator — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 11:04:44 +0000

A plate of spagetti walks into bar. The bartender says “Get out of here, we don’t serve food!”

Baby seal

Administrator — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 11:03:25 +0000

This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “What’ll ya have?” The seal says, “Anything but a Canadian Club.”