Jokes

A woman went into a bar and asked for a double entendre. So the landlord gave her one.

A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you.” “Why not?” asks the snake. The bartender says, “Because you can’t hold your liquor…”

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The beer is poured, and the neutron asks how much it owes. “For you,” the bartender answers, “no charge.”

A mushroom walks into a bar. He sits next to a beautiful woman and tries to pick her up. He gives her a few cheap lines, and she replies “Get out of here, I don’t want nothing to do with you!” Then the mushroom says, “What’s the matter? I’m a fun-gi!”

A man walks into a bar swinging a set of jumper leads above his head. The barman looks over and says “You’re not going to start anything in here, mate!”

A man walks into a bar and says, “Who the bloody hell put that there?”

What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.

What do blondes do after they comb their hair? They pull up their pants.

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00. Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde [...]