Computer Jokes

How does a UNIX expert have sex?
Unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep.

Many of you have wondered why a computer crashes. It is usually very technical but maybe this will help. Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes Crash.
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes […]

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was “running it under Windows.” The woman then responded, “No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a […]

Why can’t Computer Scientists tell the difference between Halloween and Christmas?
Because 31 OCT. = 25 DEC.

Who started the first computer club?
Eve, she had an apple in one hand and a Wang in the other

These two strings walk into a bar and sit down.
The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdkCjfdLk jk3s d#f67howeU r89nvyowmc63Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

What do you get when you cross a computer with an ape?
A Harry (hairy) reasoner.

A blonde walked into a computer shop one day and asked the shop assistant for a curtain to fit her 15 inch computer monitor. The assistant said, “Why do you want a curtain for your computer screen?”
To which the blonde replies, “I’ve got Windows”.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, […]

Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.