To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. “I’ve been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.”
A computer was something on t.v. from a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean and ram was the cousin of a goat.
Warning Signs of Insanity for Programmers.
1. You stay up all night coding only to realize that you haven’t had any caffeine in about 6 hours.
2. You wonder why on earth anyone would make a programming language conform to such absolutely bizarre rules of grammar but in a strange way it actually begins to make sense.
3. […]
Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.
Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support: “What does it say?”
Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy […]
Real software engineers eat quiche.
Real software engineers don’t read dumps. They never generate them, and on the rare occasions that they come across them, they are vaguely amused.
Real software engineers don’t comment their code. The identifiers are so mnemonic they don’t have to.
Real software engineers don’t write applications programs, they implement algorithms. […]
Just have a look at this conversation and then decide Yourself.
Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, […]
Top Ten ways things would be different if Microsoft built cars:
1. A Particular model year of car wouldn’t be available until AFTER that year, instead of before.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you’d have to buy a new car.
3. Occassionally your car would just die for no reason and you’d have […]
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.
She is now noticing that Husband 1.0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in […]
Sajan chale Sasural: Computer professional coming to US.
Himalaya Putra : Firmly asking for $70k
Elan e Jung : Asking for increment
Gupt : Agreement of programmer with
number of consultants.
Sapnay : Green card
Sadma : Rejected H1B Visa.
Khalnayak : Bodyshoppers
Raju ban Gaya Gentleman : Once you are in US.
Deewana Mastana : Project Manager - Team Leader
Beta : Home Phone […]
class softwareProfessional
{
private:
double salary;
long lunches;
float jobs;
char unstable;
void work;
private:
updateSkills();
downloadPictures();
processH1();
getVisa();
submitResignation();
public:
paintTheManagers();
fTP(); /* Don’t be confused with */
/* “file transfer protocol” */
/* It actually means Full Time Pass */
sendMails();
receiveMails();
send(Pictures);
send(Jokes);
recv(Pictures);
recv(Jokes);
};