Doctor Jokes

Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold.
Don’t worry it’s just a gilt complex

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I’ll deal with you later.

Doctor, Doctor, I can’t get to sleep.
Sit on the edge of the bed and you’ll soon drop off

Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises!

Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?
Stick your foot out and trip it up!

Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How do you know? I haven’t told you whats wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses.
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do?
Saw the legs off of your bed

Doctor, Doctor I’ve lost my memory!
When did this happen?
When did what happen?

Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake.
Sleep in another room then