Jokes

My husband came home from work and told me he witnessed a fight between a Filipino man and a Black man. A cop showed up trying to figure out what was happening. The Black man said, “He called me a bastard”. The Filipino man said “I didn’t”. So then the cop asked the Filipino man [...]

Erap was at a black tie party along with Reli German who supplied him with a constant flow of Blue Label. All the gentlemen came in black jackets, white shirts and black ties and the ladies in black gowns. Erap thought it was a boring party so he kept drinking his Blue Label to get [...]

10. My name is Porrest, Porrest Goomp 9. Inay always said that life is like a balikbayan box 8. Lieutenant Dan! Putang ina mo! 7. Lieutenant Dan! Gusto mo ba ang sorbetes? 6. Me and Jenny went together like champorado and isda 5. Mr. President, iihi ako. Na saan ang “comfort room?” 4. My best [...]

There were these 3 Filipino girls, and they were the ugliest Filipino girls ever! They finally got so tired of being ugly that they decide to go to the doctor’s for help. The doctor looks at them and says, “Well, this is a tough one, but this is what you have to do; jump into [...]

There was this Filipino kindergarten teacher and she was teaching her class how to do the hokey-pokey. She started off by saying, “You put your right feet in, you put your right feet out, you put your right feet in….” Suddenly one of the children said, “Teacher you have to say ‘foot.’” So the teacher [...]

STANLEY HO: Mr. President, please accept this Mercedes Benz as sign of my appreciation to you. ERAP: Sorry, I don’t accept bribes. STANLEY HO: I’ll just sell it to you for P100. ERAP: Okay, I’ll get two!

A Pinoy went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol. After a couple of beers, the Pinoy sensed that Spielberg was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Pinoy crashed [...]

Erap, Joe De V and Fred Lim are soliciting campaign funds from the Sultan of Brunei. The Sultan has a very intelligent horse, who understands English but is lame. Sultan says he will donate a million dollars to the candidate who can make the horse laugh, cry and run. Joe says, “Me first.” (as he [...]

My dad had an accountant who every time the company had to package plans to send to a client would ask the messenger to “Fack it up well, okay?” While shopping at SM Megamall, a saleslady was helping me choose an appropriate gift to buy and I happened to be looking at a nice nightdress. [...]

I heard recently that no Filipino saints have ever been selected and feel this is a wrong that must be righted. I know of at least one Filipino who has passed the criteria for sainthood (performing three miracles), Ferdinand Marcos. The miracles he performed are: 1) He took millions, possibly billions of dollars out of [...]