Category Archive for 'Filipino Jokes'

Imelda Goes To Heaven

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

Imelda dies and goes to heaven. The heavenly court is gathered to welcome all the newcomers to heaven. God the Father is there seated on his throne in all his splendor. The Second Person of the Trinity is there also, and the Holy Spirit, the Virgin Mary, and all the saints.
As Imelda enters, […]

I’m A Poet

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

A Filipino guy from the Philippines arrived to the United States. He never knew how to speak English at all, none, just straight out Tagalog. His sister’s husband, who was American born and did not know how to speak Tagalog, but can understand just a little bit of the language, picked up the Filipino guy […]

Hostages

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

Erap and some soldiers were caught in war and held as hostages. They were all going to die, but were given two options–either be injected with the H.I.V. virus, or be shot to death. Every soldier chose to be shot, but Erap chose the H.I.V. virus.
“Psst, why don’t you want to be shot like […]

Hair Color

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

Erap was just elected president & one of the news reporters goes up to talk to him.
The reporter ask, “Oh congratulations on your victory as a president, now that your president do you plan to dye you hair?
Erap replied, “No my hair is always alive” hahahahah!!!

Fire Exit

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

A simple match thrown into the wastebasket grew into a huge fire at Malacanang Palace. Meanwhile, Erap was surfing the smut net and could hardly be bothered by it. His bodyguard breaks down the door and pulls him out of his office and Erap says “What’s going on?”
Bodyguard replies, “SIR, FIRE! FIRE! LET’S GO, […]

A Filipino In Heaven

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

A Filipino man died and went to heaven. Before he could enter the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter had to ask him three questions.
The first one Saint Peter asked was, “How many days are there in a week?”
The Filipino man answered, “Three. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.”
The second question Peter asked was, “Can you […]

A Filipino In Canada

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

A Filipino guy from Bicol tries very hard to come to Canada. In doing so he spent all his money and sold all his valuables so after he gets out of the Canadian airport he takes the bus to go stay at his relatives’ house
He thinks to himself, “Galit na galit ako parang […]

Filipino From Bicol

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

A Filipino guy from Bicol tries very hard to come to Canada. In doing so he spent all his money and sold all his valuables so after he gets out of the Canadian airport he takes the bus to go stay at his relatives’ house.
He thinks to himself, “Galit na galit ako parang […]

Father, Mother And I

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

In the Philippines, most kids in private schools are forced to speak English at all times. A kid who just came from the province and who barely speaks the language tried his best to do so.
One day, the kid needed to go to the bathroom so bad but he didn’t know what to tell […]

Erap And The Lion

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

Erap was in the forest when he came across this huge lion and immediately fainted. When he came to, he found the lion kneeling in front of him.
ERAP: Mr. Lion, thank you for not eating me!
LION: Ssshh! I’m saying grace.