Category Archive for 'Funny Ads Jokes'

Real news headlines 12

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
Autos Killing 110 a Day–Let’s Resolve to Do Better
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
War Dims Hope For Peace
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
Cold […]

Real news headlines 11

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
Women’s Movement Called More Broad-Based
Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim’s Kin

Real news headlines 10

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
March Planned For Next August
Blind Bishop Appointed To See
Lingerie Shipment Hijacked–Thief Gives Police The Slip
L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
Patient At Death’s Door–Doctors Pull Him Through
Latin Course To Be Canceled–No Interest Among Students, Et Al.
Diaper Market Bottoms Out
Croupiers On Strike–Management: “No Big Deal”
Stadium Air […]

Real news headlines 09

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Bible church’s focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: The Chicago Tribune, March 5
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, […]

Real news headlines 08

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Man shoots neighbor with machete: The Miami Herald, July 3
Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes: The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows: The New York Times, March 10
Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies: The Los […]

Real news headlines 07

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us: Holland Sentinal, date unknown.
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut: The New York Times, November 22
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find: The Los Angeles Times, November 2
‘Light’ meals are lower in fat, calories: […]

Real news headlines 06

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are […]

Real news headlines 05

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held […]

Real news headlines 04

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herbes Infection from Loved One
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in ‘84
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple […]

Real news headlines 03

Wednesday, June 29th, 2005

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman’s leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two […]