Jokes

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy Autos Killing 110 a Day–Let’s Resolve to Do Better 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar War Dims Hope For Peace If Strike Isn’t [...]

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters Women’s Movement Called More Broad-Based Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [...]

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. March Planned For Next August Blind Bishop Appointed To See Lingerie Shipment Hijacked–Thief Gives Police The Slip L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide Patient At Death’s Door–Doctors Pull Him Through Latin Course To Be Canceled–No Interest Among Students, Et Al. Diaper Market Bottoms [...]

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Bible church’s focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994 Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6 Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: The Chicago Tribune, March 5 Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed [...]

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Man shoots neighbor with machete: The Miami Herald, July 3 Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes: The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30 Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows: The New York Times, March 10 Man Run Over by Freight [...]

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us: Holland Sentinal, date unknown. Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut: The New York Times, November 22 Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find: The Los Angeles Times, November 2 ‘Light’ meals are [...]

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Air Head Fired Steals Clock, Faces Time Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff Old School Pillars [...]

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy Arson Suspect is [...]

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Never Withhold Herbes Infection from Loved One Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in ’84 War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Enfields [...]

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Shot Off Woman’s leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told Miners Refuse to Work After Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Stolen Painting Found by Tree [...]