Jokes

First name: ______________________ Last name(if known):______________ Address (where you live):_________ __________________________________ Mother’s name_____________________ (also relation, i.e., sister) Birthdate(yours):__________________ Father’s name:_____________________ (if known, if not, list choices) Color of neck: Light Red ( ) Medium Red( ) Dark Red ( ) No Neck ( ) Year of pickup truck:_____________ List all that you have in your [...]

After many unhappy replies from our current vending service we decided that what they really needed was a different form letter that was more closely tied to their true feeling: BFD Vending Service Thank you for your inquiry/comments/complaints about our vending service. ___ We are aware that _____________ machine has not been stocked in _____ [...]

Date: Dear Professor, My grade in ____ should be raised from _____ to ____ because: 1. There must be a mistake somewhere. 2. I was not well at the time of the examination. 3. My mind always goes blank during an examination. 4. This mark ruined my prospect of getting a scholarship. 5. This is [...]

Have you an unusual Intelligence? Do you find you lose interest in supposedly “Interesting movies”? It could be that you’re one of the 5% of the population that has the mental capacity of a steaming turd! If so, you may want to join MUNSA – Mentally Unemployed and Noticeably Stupid Association. Try the questionnaire below. [...]

To: Professor _______________ From: ____________________ I think my grade in your course, ___, should be changed from ___ to ___ for the following reasons: __1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did. __2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did. __3. This course [...]

City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam Name:____________________ Gang:________________________ 1. Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload? 2. If Jose has [...]

Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies [...]

INTRODUCTION: Hello, and welcome to the nerdity test. This test is designed to help you determine your nerdity quotient. In the past, someone may have watched you, or listened to something you said and then exclaimed, “You geek! What do you think you are doing?” Or maybe it’s just us. In any event, we here [...]

Standard form #27B/j Please take a few minutes to fill out this questionaire. All answers will be kept confidental and are used only for research purposes. 1: How did you hear about us? __________________________________________ 2: Did you enjoy your overall experience? ___ Yes ___ No If not, why not? _________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ [...]

Name: _____________________ Date: _______________ _____________________________________________________ KNOWLEDGE:__ Really knows what he’s doing. __ Knows just enough to be dangerous. __ Only half a brain and is dangerous. __ His coffee cup has a higher I.Q. _____________________________________________________ ACCURACY: __ Does excellent work is not preoccupied. __ Pretty good accuracy with large numbers. __ Must take off shoes [...]