First whale: That’s the bastard who killed my folks — lets drown them!

Second Whale: “If they killed your folks let’s do it!”

First: “We’ll dive down then surface and blow the ship over with our blow-holes”.

This they did but the sailors were still alive swimming for it.

First: “Darn it! We’ll have to swim up to them with our mouths open and swallow them all down!”

Second: “No way! I don’t mind the blow-job but I’m not swallowing the seamen!”

The Japanese smiled broadly. When they got to their station, the businessman hustled the other up the stairs, and out into the fresh air.

Nearby was a secluded little grassy area with some seats. The Japanese sat down, and looked benevolently on the world passing by.

“Hey, what are you doing just sitting there?” gasped the western businessman.

“Oh, I’m just using up the 20 minutes we saved on the train”.

Out of every 10,000 Americans, 20 are lawyers, 40 are accountants, and 70 are engineers. Out of every 10,000 Japanese, one is a lawyer, three are accountants — and 400 are engineers.”

July’s Optical Spectrum

The Japanese won by a mile!

Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultants’ finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing (Working) and eight people steering (Freeloading ).

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consulting firm concluded that too many were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. (i.e., US Government !!!)

So, as race day neared again the following year, the American team’s structure was complete reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, one staff steering manager and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

This year, the Japanese won by TWO miles.

Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

The following year the American team bought a new “off the shelf” racing team. One top American manager was recently heard stating that “racing wasn’t part of our core competencies, so we brought in contractors to help us compete in a world wide market/race “.

After many months of deliberation, and the race fast approaching, the new staff reorganization quickly became . . . four steering managers, three area steering managers, one staff steering manager and now one project steering leader to oversee the racing contractors. Plus, of course, the 8 additional racing contractors who will actually compete in the race, but they don’t really count in Corporate America . . . .

This year, the Japanese won by default, the American racing team sunk three minutes into the race. A top American manager was overheard stating “I don’t understand, they said we could just plug ‘em in, that they could race in any boat”.

Although it’s early in the planning for next year’s race, rumor has it the Americans are buying a new boat that is more compatible with the vendor’s system of racing expertise. A new boat acquisitions manager was hired to work on the details.

He throws some rice.

The Italian throws some pasta.

The American throws the Japanese guy off.

So the first really stupid sumo swam half way got tired and came back.

Then the second sumo who was reasonably dumb swam half way got tired and came back.

Then the third sumo who was smarter than the other two walked across the bridge.

She asks, “What the hell are you perverts doing?”, to which one of the men replied, “We all berry hungry”!

She responds, “But why are you whacking off?” One of the three says, “Because menu say `first come, first served!”

The concierge tells him he’s in luck; there’s a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.

Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.

The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, “What the heck did you put on this pizza?”

The delivery man bows deeply and says, “We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only.” (pepperoni)

One month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex.

The German woman has a strict weekly schedule when she alternates with the two German men.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about the necessity of ‘fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last ‘boyfriend treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining.