Category Archive for 'Animal Jokes'

Worm jokes 03

Sunday, July 24th, 2005

What is a worm’s favorite band?
Mud!
What is the maggot army called?
The Apple Corps!
Why didn’t the two worms get on Noah’s Ark in an apple?
Because everyone had to go on in pairs!
Who is the worm’s Prime Minister?
Maggot Thatcher!
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm?
it has a blue light!
How can you […]

Worm jokes 01

Sunday, July 24th, 2005

What’s yellow, wiggles and is dangerous?
A maggot with attitude!
Why was the glow worm unhappy?
Because her children weren’t that bright!
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant?
Very big worm holes in your garden!
What reads and lives in an apple?
A bookworm!
What did the […]

Spider jokes 02

Sunday, July 24th, 2005

What is a spiders favorite TV show?
The newly web game!
What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?
Your spinning me a yarn here!
What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?
I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t try smelling it!
Why are spiders like tops?
They […]

Spider jokes 01

Sunday, July 24th, 2005

Why did the spider buy a car?
So he could take it out for a spin!
What does a spider do when he gets angry?
He goes up the wall!
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
Why are spiders good swimmers?
They have webbed feet!
How do you spot […]

Slug jokes

Sunday, July 24th, 2005

What did the slug say to the other who had hit him and run off?
I’ll get you next slime!
What was the snail doing on the highway?
About one mile a day!
What is the definition of a slug?
A snail with a housing problem!
What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall?
How slime flies!
How do you […]

Reptile jokes 06

Sunday, July 24th, 2005

Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?
He had his own frog horn!
Where do you get frogs eggs?
At the spawn shop!
What’s a toads favorite sweet?
Lollihops!
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent!
How did the toad die?
He simply croaked!
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom!
What do you say to a […]

Reptile jokes 05

Sunday, July 24th, 2005

Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area!
Where do frogs keep their treasure?
In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!
Whats white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog!
What did the bus conductor ay to the frog?
Hop on!
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse […]

Reptile jokes 04

Sunday, July 24th, 2005

What’s green a slimy and found at the North Pole?
A lost frog!
What’s green and tough?
A toad with a machine gun!
Why didn’t the female frog lay eggs?
Because her husband spawned her affections!
What do you call a 100 year old frog?
An old croak!
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog!
What is a […]

Reptile jokes 03

Sunday, July 24th, 2005

What do toads drink?
Croaka-cola!
When is a car like a frog?
When it’s becing toad!
Why do frogs have webbed feet?
To stamp out forest fires!
What happened when a frog joined the cricket team?
He bowled long hops!
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft!
What is worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Finding half […]

Reptile jokes 02

Sunday, July 24th, 2005

Where do frogs keep their money?
In a river bank!
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights!
Why doesn’t Kermit the Frog like elephants?
They always want to play leap frog with him!
Why was the frog down in the mouth?
He was un hoppy!
Why is a frog luckier than a […]