What did the clean dog say to the insect?
Long time no flea!
Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War?
Robert E Flea!
What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor?
Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go!
What do you call a cheerful flea?
A […]
What is the most faithful insect?
A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them!
What insect runs away from everything?
A flee!
What is the difference between a flea and a wolf?
One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie!
What to you call a Russian flea?
A Moscow-ito!
Two fleas where running across the […]
What kind of money do fishermen make?
Net profits!
What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird’s leg and a hand?
Birdsthigh fish fingers!
What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)
What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream?
Jellyfish!
What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?
‘Your plaice […]
What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flat fish!
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!
Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can […]
Where are most fish found?
Between the head and the tail!
What kind of fish will help you hear better?
A herring aid!
What do fish sing to each other?
Salmon-chanted evening!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
Monkfish!
What bit of fish […]
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
To the prawn broker!
What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather!
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!
How do fish go into business?
The start […]
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon!
Where do little fishes go every morning?
To plaice school!
What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A motor pike!
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything!
1st kipper: ‘Smoking’s bad for you’
2nd kipper: ‘It’s OK, I’ve been cured’
What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?
Skate!
What do you […]
Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice?
Because he was a dirty double crosser!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
What has two legs and flies?
A pig!
What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?
A cow that can milk itself!
Why did the farmer call his pig ‘Ink’?
Because he kept running out […]
Why did the dirty chicken cross the road?
For some fowl purpose!
How do sheep keep warm in winter?
Central bleating!
How do chickens dance?
Chick to chick!
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo-cluck!
What do you call a bull who tells jokes?
Laugh-a-bull!
What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
The milky baa kid!
What is […]
What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?
A pigtail!
Where do cows go on a Saturday night?
To the moo-vies!
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk!
Why did the baby turkey bolt down his food?
Because he was a little gobbler!
Why did the starstruck chicken cross the road?
To see […]