A wizard joke
What kinds of wizards have their eyes closest together?
The smallest ones!

A wizard joke
Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath!

A wizard joke
What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus?
The police made him bring it back again!

A witch joke
Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark?
That’s the time to go to sweep!

A wizard joke
What happened when the wizard met the witch?
It was love at first fright!

A witch joke
When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
When your a mouse!

A wizard joke
How do you keep a wizard in suspense?
I’ll tell you tomorrow…!

A witch joke
What is a witches favourite magazine?
The witch report!

A witch joke
What did the young witch say to her mother?
Can I have the keys to the broom tonight!

A witch joke
What’s the best advice you can give to a witch on a broomstick?
Don’t fly off the handle!

A witch joke
Who turns the lights off at halloween?
The light’s witch!

A witch joke
Whats the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin?
Ever tried broomstick pie?
!

A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard from outer space?
A flying sorcerer!

A witch joke
What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch?
A witch in soggy shoes!

A witch joke
What do you call a witch that flies in Concorde?
Lucky!

A witch joke
What do you call two witches who share a broom sticks?
Broom mates!

A witch joke
What does a witch turn when the lights go out?
The dark!

A witch joke
What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?
To keep their hats pointed!

A witch joke
What is evil and ugly, puts spells on people and is made of leaves?
A witch (The leaves were just a plant)!

A witch joke
What is black, old & ugly and has four wheels?
A witch on a skateboard!

A witch joke
What happens to witches when it rains?
They get wet!

A witch joke
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
Because there are so many witches sweeping the sky!

A witch joke
What do you call an old hag who lives by the sea?
A sandwitch!

A witch joke
What do you call a witch by the side of the road with her thumb out?
A witchhiker!

A witch joke
What’s a witches favorite flower?
A triffid!

A witch joke
What do you call a witch that stays out all night?
A fresh air freak!

A witch joke
What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?
A bird that’s ugly but doesn’t give a hoot!

A witch joke
What goes cackle, cackle, boom?
A witch in a minefield!

A witch joke
What is the difference between a musician and a dead witch?
One composes and the other decomposes!

A witch joke
Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?
Because she thought everybody loved her!

A witch joke
What usually runs in witches’ families?
Noses!

A witch joke
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch!

A witch joke
How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea?
Out of flying saucers!

A witch joke
What do you call a witches motor bike?
A baaaarrrroooooooommmm stick!

A witch joke
How can you tell if a witch has a glass eye?
When it comes out in conversation!

A witch joke
What happens to a witch when she loses her temper when riding her broom?
She flies off the handle!

A witch joke
What happened when the old witch went to see a funny film?
The manager told her to cut the cackle!

A witch joke
What do you call it when a witches cat falls off a broomstick?
A catastrophe!

A witch joke
Why are black cats such good singers?
They’re very mewsical!

A wizard joke
Who did the wizard marry?
His ghoul-friend!

A wizard joke
Why did the wizard where red, white and blue braces?
To keep his trousers up!

A witch joke
Why is a witches face like a million dollars?
It’s all green and wrinkly!

A witch joke
How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the “w”!

A witch joke
Why did the witches go on strike?
They wanted sweeping reforms!

A witch joke
When a witch falls into a pond what is the first thing that she does?
Get wet!

A witch joke
What did the witch say to the ugly toad?
“I’d put a curse on you but it looks like someone already beat me to it”!

A wizard joke
What do you call a warlock who tries to stop fights?
A peacelock!

A wizard joke
What kinds of wizards can jump higher than a bus?
All of them, busses don’t jump!

A wizard joke
What happened when the wizard drank a bottle of lemonade?
He burped 7-Up!

A witch joke
What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?
Every time she sneezed her hat blew off!

A witch joke
What happened when the baby witch was born?
It was so ugly its parents ran away from home!

A witch joke
What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends?
A witch with a blindfold!

A witch joke
What kind of music do witches play on the piano?
Hag-time!

A witch joke
What does a witch do if her broom is stolen?
She calls the flying squad!

A witch joke
Why did the witch wear yellow stockings?
Because her grey ones were at the cleaners!

A witch joke
What do you call a witch that climbs up walls?
Ivy!

A witch joke
Why was the witch late for the party?
She’d lost her witch-watch!

A witch joke
What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?
The producer said that she had the perfect face for radio!

A witch joke
What do you call a witch with one leg?
Eileen!

A witch joke
What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites?
Don’t bite any witches!

A witch joke
What should you expect if you drop in on a witches home unexpectedly?
Pot luck!