Jokes

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons? Because they didn’t want to wait 40 years for a train! Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because his class was so bright! 1st Roman Soldier: What is the time? 2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII! Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher? He [...]

Teacher: Where is the English Channel? Pupil: I don’t know, my TV doesn’t pick it up Teacher: This is the third time I’ve had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it’s Friday! Teacher: Didn’t you hear me call you? Pupil: But you said not [...]

An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year? Pupil: 12 – 2nd January, 2nd February…! An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Our furnace stopped working [...]

Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon? Because he was dead! What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old? A year older on his birthday! An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to add to your already heavy workload. An ideal [...]

If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas? His wife! What’s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale? You can’t keep a good man down! Who designed Noah’s ark? An ark-itect! When did Caesar reign? I didn’t know he reigned. Of course he did, didn’t they hail him? An [...]

Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth! Pupil: What?, and get bitten! Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn’t you? Pupil: Not very much! A history joke When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat? He was afraid that if he sat down that [...]

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark? Fished, but he didn’t catch much. He only had two worms! Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips! What did Caesar say to Cleopatra? Toga-ether we can rule the world! Teacher: What’s big and [...]

Father: I hear you skipped school to play football Son: No I didn’t, and I have the fish to prove it! Teacher: When was Rome built? Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that? Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn’t built in a day! What did the Sheriff of Nottingham say [...]

Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river? Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can’t see! A history joke Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich? Because the poor didn’t have anything worth stealing! Teacher: You’re new here aren’t you, what’s your name? Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith A history joke Why did [...]

A math joke I failed every subject except for algebra. How did you keep from failing that? I didn’t take algebra! A history joke Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII? She was trying to get ahead! A history joke What was the first think Queen Elizabeth [...]