Category Archive for 'Light Bulb Jokes'

Lightbulb joke collection 106

Monday, July 25th, 2005

Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least a dozen, but it’s impossible to tell which one it is, because they’re all pointing at each other going “That’s me, over there !”
Q: How many Bill Gates’ (runs Microsoft) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. He simply […]

Lightbulb joke collection 105

Monday, July 25th, 2005

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They can’t change light bulbs… Without light, they can’t read the manual, and without the manual, they can’t figure out how to change the light bulb.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Wait! Maybe the bulb isn’t […]

Lightbulb joke collection 104

Monday, July 25th, 2005

Q: How many members of the Impossible Missions Force does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five: While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress, I use a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and remove his body. Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the dictator long enough […]

Lightbulb joke collection 103

Monday, July 25th, 2005

Q: How many Artificial Intelligence (AI) people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: At least 55: The problem space group (5) [One to define the goal state, One to define the operators, One to describe the universal problem solver, One to hack the production system, One to indicate about how it is a model […]

Lightbulb joke collection 102

Monday, July 25th, 2005

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:
Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “The Lawyer”, and the party of the second part, […]

Lightbulb joke collection 101

Monday, July 25th, 2005

Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: (Gary Hart) This oblique reference to screwing is an obvious attempt to drag my personal life into this campaign. Frankly, I resent it, and the American people resent it.
Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it […]

Lightbulb joke collection 100

Monday, July 25th, 2005

Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None — He’ll only promise “change.”
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: He doesn’t. He whines a while, says “I feel your pain”, and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames […]

Lightbulb joke collection 99

Monday, July 25th, 2005

Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They haven’t got a policy on that.
Q: How many socialists does it take to change a light […]

Lightbulb joke collection 98

Monday, July 25th, 2005

Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That depends on the wage rate.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: […]

Lightbulb joke collection 97

Monday, July 25th, 2005

Q: How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One–but he has to wait until the light is better.
Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but first they have to rewire the entire building.
Q: How many editors does it take to screw in […]