Lots of Jokes to Make You Laugh
Q: How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four–one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof. Q: How many mutants does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two thirds. Q: How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb? [...]
Q: How many “Changing lightbulbs”-joke writers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two hundred, and don’t ask why because they haven’t–figured that out yet. Q: How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and I’ve just cashed up. Q: How many IKEA shop [...]
Q: How many archaeologists does does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is. Q: How many preservation society members does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, but it takes a year to find an antique Edison [...]
Q: How many Dario Argento fans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. One to change it and one to film the demise of the old one in explicit gorey detail, using obscure camera angles. Q: How many schizophreniacs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Well, he thinks it’s five but [...]
Q: How many copyeditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. “I’m not changing a thing” Q: How many marketing directors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: It isn’t too late to make this neon instead, is it? Q: How many proofreaders does it take to change a lightbulb? A: [...]
Q: How many military information officers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: At the present point in time it is against policy and the best interests of military strategy to divulge information of such a statistical nature. Next question, please. Q: How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change [...]
Q: How many Kennedy assassination conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 15–One to screw it in, five to say he acted alone, one to say that someone hidden in the ceiling helped, one to film it, one to do an intense examination of the film and conclude that a) [...]
Q: How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, bankers don’t change light bulbs. Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb? A: (Haig) One. Snap to it, soldier! Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a [...]
Q: How many Princeton students does it take to screw in a lightblub? A: Sigh. The Alumni pay people to do things like that for us. Note: Princeton has a reputation for being wealthier than the other seven. Q: How many Princeton students does it take to screw in a lightblub? A: I don’t know, [...]
Q: How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, but don’t expect results. Q: How many European ballet dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they like Danzig in the dark. Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb? [...]