Jokes

Q: How many USENETers does it take to screw in a ligth bulb? A. None. They are so busy hogging up bandwidth taking out their postadolescent frustrations on each other, that they never get around to it! Q: How many rec.humor.funny readers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 50. They all stand [...]

Q: How many alt.anagrams readers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to say it can’t be done because there aren’t enough vowels, one to be clever and change “a lightbulb” into “bull bit hag”, and one to try and sell copies of the “Anagram for Windows” program he wrote. Q: [...]

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down. Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project. Q: How many programmers does it [...]

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: It’s hard to say. Each time we separate the bulb into its modules to do unit testing, it stops working. Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: The change is 90% complete. Q: How many programmers [...]

Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 50. 50? Yeah 50; its in the contract. Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five – one to change the bulb and four to protect him from muggers. Q: How many [...]

Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb? A: We don’t know. They never get past the feasibility study. Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle… and one to change the bulb. Q: How [...]

Q: How many experienced computer users does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Why do they have to keep changing it ? Every bloody week. You’d’ve thought they’d have learnt by now, if it’s not broken they shouldn’t bugger about with it. What’s that ? It WAS broken this time you say ? [...]

Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: “The user can work it out.” Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one, provided there’s a programmer around to explain how to do it. Q: How many tech writers does it take to [...]

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: This can not be computed. Changing light bulbs is a *hardware* problem… Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to change the light bulb and one to make sure the stack of [...]

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: “We’ll document it in the manual.” Q: How many C programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they forgot to declare it first. Q: How long does it take a C programmer to screw in a light bulb? [...]