A newly married couple returned to their house after being on honeymoon.
“Care to go upstairs and have a shag?” the husband asked.
“Shhhh!” said the bride, “All the neighbours will know what we’re about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we’ll have to ask each other in code. For example, how […]
One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice.
Utterly terrified, the man screamed, “Stop, stop! […]
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can’t see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.
“Honey,” she signs, […]
It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift […]
An Army Sergeant Major walks into a whorehouse and approaches the madam and says, ” My name is Sergeant Major Dick and I’m here for a woman!” The madam immediately escorts the soldier upstairs and selects the best call girl they have for him.
Sergeant Major Dick immediately disrobes and is standing with his hands […]
There are four nuns at the gates of heaven waiting to be let in by St. Peter. He goes to the first nun and says “before I let you in, I trust there’s no sexual experience, for example have you ever touched a man’s penis?” to which the nun replies that she once “sort of […]
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It’s a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says: “Pierre, kiss me!” Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips. “What are […]
There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. […]
A couple has returned from their honeymoon and it was obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom’s best man takes him aside and asks what’s wrong.
“Well,” replied the man “when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom, I […]
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is
also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
“I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a
dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it and order from
there.”
A […]