Jokes

A young woman brings her fiancee’ home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man, so the father invites the fiancee’ to his study for a drink. “So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man. “I am a Torah scholar,” he replies. [...]

A young man had seriously dated three girls and was finally faced with the dilemma of which to marry. As a test he gave each of them one thousand dollars. The first girl went for a complete hair and face makeover, new clothes, and new shoes. She returned to show off her new look saying, [...]

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. (Normally one club and two balls) 2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep balls out of the hole. 4. For most effective [...]

A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried down- stairs for something to [...]

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. ‘Of course, my son,’ said the priest. ‘Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. I hid her in my [...]

An Italian, a Frenchman, and a Yorkshireman are discussing their relative performance in bed. The Italian says, “When I’ve-a finshed-a makin’ da love with my girlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats-a da 6 inches above-a da bed in ecstasy.” The Frenchman replies, “Zat is nossing, when Ah [...]

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.” The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. [...]

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn’t stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don’t listen. How do you do that? Says the [...]

They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn’t been talking to each other. Instead, they were giving each other written notes. One evening he gave her a paper where it said: “Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am.” The next morning he woke up and saw that [...]

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses… one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that [...]