Jokes

A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers : “Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?” The husband laughs and says, “An English girl !!!” The woman kept [...]

Farmer Joe had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing. One day when he was out in the field, Joe’s wife brought his lunch to him. Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a [...]

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful… Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You’re cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more [...]

A cop stops his patrol car when he sees Banta and his girlfriend sitting on the curb. Banta is laying on his side with his pants pulled down, the girl has her finger in his butt, and she’s reaming away with a vengeance. The cop says, “What the hell is going on?” The girl says, [...]

Santa enters a store that sell curtains. He tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.” The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing. Finally, he selects a lovely pink [...]

Santa and Banta fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later Santa takes a boat over to the other island to see how Banta is doing. When he gets there, he finds Banta standing among a group of natives. [...]

A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition. Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point [...]

This old man and old woman (husband and wife) die and go to heaven. There, St. Peter gives them the grand tour of their new home. It’s a HUGE mansion with a limo driver, gardener, etc. The old man exclaims, “That’s ours?” St. Peter says “Yes, it is yours, forever and ever.” The old man [...]