Jokes

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation!

Y’know yer a redneck, when someone yells “Hoedown!” and yer date drop t’the floor.

Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man? A: How do you drink water with that?

Mrs. Andrews named her cat Love because it was so affectionate. One day, when Love failed to return home, Mrs. Andrews went out to look for her lost cat. Since she was wearing nothing but a bathrobe, a police officer stopped her and asked, “What are you doing?” Mrs. Andrews replied, “I was out here [...]

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said “Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please.” The bartender gave him the drink. Then the Budweiser President orders, “The King [...]

You’re so poor that when you go to McDonald’s, you have to put the dollar meal on layaway!

There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater. They attempted to rob a bank but got caught. They went to court and were sentenced to the electric chair. The guys operating it told them that if they survived they were free to go. The Longhorn went first. They asked him if he had [...]

What do you call a fly in a blonde’s brain? A space invader!

John Rocker was on a NY subway and many people stopped to stare at him. One lady said, “I hate you, Rocker, you dissed New York.” The next person says, “Thanks, Rocker. You dissed homosexuals.” The next guys says, “You dissed people with mental problems.” Rocker is shocked and says, “I didn’t say anything about [...]

Yo mama’s so fat, I ran out of gas trying to drive around her.