Jokes

A guy walked into a bar and saw a golden mug on a shelf above the bartender and it said “Win this…free beer for LIFE!” The man walked up to the bartender and asked “how do I win this golden mug?” The bartender replied, “See that drunken man over there? Knock him out in one [...]

At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.

What is a man’s idea of housework? Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, ”These sleepovers are killing me!”

10. You look like a hooker I knew in Phoenix. 9. You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend. 8. If you were a booger I’d pick you first. 7. You look just like my mama. I love my mama. 6. Gross! Somebody farted. Let’s get out of here. 5. Hey, baby, wanna go halves on [...]

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Hark! I shall soon be swimming in a veritable river of pachyderm seed!

A man walks into a bar with an alligator on a leash. Once he is in the bar he tells all the patrons that are present that for a round of drinks from everyone in the bar he will insert his penis into the alligator’s mouth and remove it unscathed. All the bar goers accepted [...]

You might be a redneck if the roof of your truck is higher than the roof of your house.

What do you call a cow that won’t give milk? A milkdud!

Yo’ Mama is so fat, that she was doing the Hokey Pokey slower than everyone. In fact, when she was done turning all around, everyone gave her a welcome back party.