Jokes

A Fellow in military loses his legs during a War and was paralyzed. After spending some time in the hospital and rehab center, he returns home feeling sad enough to think about ending his vegetative life by committing suicide. To put his plan into action he starts rolling his wheelchair towards the suicide point near [...]

This little boy goes up to his dad and he says “Dad?, What’s the difference between Potentially and Realistically?” To which the father replies “Well son, go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then you ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a [...]

A old Jewish man on his deathbed whispered, “Sarah, Sarah, where are you, my dear wife?” “Right here at your side, my love.” “And my son, Moishe…where is he?” “Right here at your side, papa.” “And my daughter, Mitsy…where is she?” “Right here at your side, papa.” “And my son, Abraham…where is he?” “Right here [...]

Little Johnny was playing in the farm yard one morning. The chickens were out running around, and getting in Little Johnny’s way. In a temper tantrum he started running after them and kicking them. His mother caught him kicking the chickens, and said, “That’s it! No eggs for you for one month!” Later that afternoon, [...]

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” The kid replies, “Yeah.” The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to [...]

A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, “Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance! Later that night, about 2 o’clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and we had [...]

A well dressed man was having a dinner in “Kake Da Hotel”. After he finished his dinner, he started to wash his hands with table and chair. The owner saw him and got real angry and asked, “Have you had dinner in some nice hotel before?” Man: “Ya!” “I had dinner once in Ashoka Hotel.” [...]

A guy went to apply for a job with the U.S. Postal Service. During the interview, the interviewer asked the guy if he was a veteran. The guy said “Yes, I fought over in Vietnam.” Then the interviewer asked if the guy had any disabilities. The guy responded, “Well, I stepped on a landmine over [...]

4 men – a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them [...]

An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says: “Ah, you’re an engineer, but you worked for a high-tech startup company and got rich. You’ve had too good of a life, so now you can’t come in here.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and [...]