Jokes

Health care costs are rising uncontrollably across the world. In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for them. In England, they have begun rationing health care services and in some cases they have waiting lists for services just to reduce costs even more. In fact, they now have a nine month [...]

President Clinton, speaking in private with his advisor on public favor, told him that the planned invasion of Haiti will be the most unpopular thing that he has ever done as the President of the United States. “Actually, sir, according to our research, the most unpopular thing you’ve ever done was to be inaugurated as [...]

Bill Clinton has just had a major new policy decision that he thinks is going to “save” America. He decides to talk it over with Senator Dole. Dole says, “Well Bill, the Republicans aren’t to sure about this. Why do you go back to the White House and write a 20,000 word essay on your [...]

A man dies, and he’s looking in the gates of hell. There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, “Well, John has done some bad things in his life and that’s his punishment.” [...]

After agonizing for several days over the situation in former Yugoslavia where ethnic Serbs, Bosnians, and Muslims are engaged in a fierce and bloody civil war, President Clinton today announced that he is strongly in favor of diversity.

Bill Clinton is walking a dog around the White House lawn early one morning. He walks it past the guard’s post, and the marine says “Mr. President, is that a new dog?” Clinton smiles, and replies, “Why yes, I got it for my wife.” The marine looks at the the dog, looks up with a [...]

The Secret Service has been worried by Bill Clinton’s practice of taking early morning jogs. They got a real scare the other day when somebody threw a beer at the president. Fortunately, it turned out to have been a draft, and Clinton was able to dodge it.

The May Day parade in Moscow is the largest, most important military parade of the year. For 1992′s parade, Yeltsin and Gorbachev invited Bill Clinton to come watch it with them. The parade commenced with a battalion of tanks, followed by a division of infantry, followed by armored personnel carriers and mobile artillery. They had [...]

President Clinton is shaking hands with the voters after being elected for the second time. “Pleased to meet you,” says one old man, “I’ve heard a lot about you in the past few years.” Clinton laughs: “You can’t prove any of it!”

Bill Clinton Nicknames McPresident Dollar Bill The Bill we’ll be paying for years Commander-in-thief Hillary Rodham the Great Pretender Willy the Weasel Hillary Clinton nicknames Wicked witch of the west wing Hilla the Hun Robbery Hillham