Jokes

You might be a reneck if… Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern. Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers. Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps. Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string. Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a [...]

You might be a reneck if… You don’t think the Ewoks are primitive. You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow. You don’t think Jabba’s pig guards have a hygiene problem. The Rancor monster refused to eat you. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren’t. You think the stock [...]

You might be a reneck if… Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over t’ the dark side.. .it’ll be a hoot.” You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light. The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so [...]

You might be a reneck if… You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok… without using the word “chicken”. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks. You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets. A peaceful [...]

You might be a reneck if… You re-use dental floss to save money. You’ve ever drunk mouthwash just because you’re too lazy to walk down to the liquor store. Your homecoming basketball game was rained out. Your baseball bat “ain’t never been used on a ball, but it’s sure hit plenty of other things.” You’ve [...]

You might be a reneck if… Duct tape and wire are the only two things holding your truck together. Your bumper sticker reads “If you’re missing your cat, look in my treads. ” You think the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived. You’ve ever parked your date next to a YIELD sign hoping she’d take [...]

You might be a reneck if… You can identify your friends by the sound of their mufflers. You think OFF is a fine smelling cologne. You put a Clapper on your headlights. You need a dictionary to spell your name. You don’t change your socks until the first pair rots off. People ask your wife [...]

You might be a reneck if… Any time your kids see a dog they get out their ropes and lasso it and tackle it to the ground. Your master bathroom has the words “porta” and “potty” written on the side. You can’t take a bath in the winter ’cause the stream is frozen. You only [...]

You might be a reneck if… You’ve ever given a set of Tupperware ice tea glasses as a wedding present. Your dungarees expose more than half of your crack in the back because the weight of your pocket knife. Your idea of heaven involves two shotguns and a keg of beer. You picket your horses [...]

You might be a reneck if… You think the ATM machine is a giant, public calculator. Your favorite cologne smells like exhaust. The fire department leaves after discovering that the fire that destroyed y. You think its okay to have your 6 year old babysit your 5, 4, and 3 year o. Your dog’s shots [...]