Jokes

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain’s contention that the ‘most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. Q: What is one horsepower? A: One horsepower is the amount [...]

Cartoon Law I Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over. Cartoon [...]

These are reputedly real answers to questions on science tests. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state. When [...]

Mole problems? Call Avogadro: 6.023 E23 ——————————————————————————– If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate ——————————————————————————– (Picture of Einstein in a police uniform with caption): 186,000 miles per second. It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law. ——————————————————————————– Feathers are light. The sun gives off light. Therefore, the sun gives [...]

Administratrium, The New Element AMES, IA–The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. [...]

After intensive investigation on both the Soviet and US parts, spokespersons from both space agencies have determined the cause for the accident which has placed the station and its resident personnel in jeopardy. In terse statements at a recent press conference, Soviet and US space agency spokespersons said Thursday We have concluded joint investigations concerning [...]

NASA just disclosed details why the rover wouldn’t accept any commands. They took a picture of the rover’s built-in display which showed a windows screen and the text “press any key to continue”. It is not conclusive yet, but the NASA believes the Mars Pathfinder has found proof of life on Mars. The cd player [...]

At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon. The Redheads speak up “That’s been done before, we’re going to go to Mars”. The Blondes speak up “That’s nothing, we’re going to be the first people to go to the Sun”. One of the reporters says “Don’t [...]

There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says “Jump frog, jump!”. The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: ‘Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet’. Next he chops [...]

Away in a Test Tube (Melody: “Away in a Manger”) Away in a test tube My plague cultures grow On nutrient agar Mankind’s greatest foe It’s easy to grow them If one does it right At thirty-five Celsius All day and all night Once they are ready You can let them go To sicken the [...]