Jokes

Iron the Red Atom Molecule (to the tune of “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer”) There was Cobalt and Argon and Carbon and Fluorine Silver and Boron and Neon and Bromine But do you recall the most famous element of all? Iron the red atom molecule had a very shiny orbital And if you ever saw him [...]

We Three Students Of Chemistry Are We three students of chemistry are taking tests that we think are hard Stoichiometry, volumes and densities worrying all the time. O room of wonder room of fright Room of thermites blinding light: With your energies please don’t burn us Help us get our labs all right.

O Come All Ye Gases O Come all yea gases diatomic wonders O come yea, o come yea calls Avogadro. O come yea in moles 6 x 10 to the 23rd O molar mass and molecules O volume, pressure and temperature O molar volume of gases at S.T.P.

I Saw Teacher Kissing Santa Chlorine I saw teacher kissing Santa Chlorine under the chemistree last night They didn’t sneak me down the periodic chart to take a peek At all the atoms reacting in their beakers; it was neat. And I saw teacher kissing Santa Chlorine under the chemistree so bright Oh what a [...]

Chemistry Wonderland Gases explode, are you listenin’ In your rest tube, silver glistens A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight Walking in a chemistry wonderland. Gone away, is the buoyancy Here to stay, is the density A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight Walking in a chemistry wonderland. In the beaker we will make lead carbonate and [...]

We Wish You a Happy Halogen We wish you a happy halogen We wish you a happy halogen We wish you a happy halogen To react with a metal. Good acid we bring to you and your base. We wish you a merry molecule and a happy halogen.

O Little Melting Particle (to the tune of “O Little Town Of Bethlehem”) Para Dichloro Benzene how do you melt so well? The plateau of your cooling curve is really something swell. We think the heat of fusion of water is so nice Give up fourteen hundred cals per mole and what you get is [...]

Quantum Chemistry On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the second day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: a double integral and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the third day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: three orbitals, a double integral, and [...]

The Twelve Days of Chemistry On the first day of chemistry My teacher gave to me A candle from Chem Study. (second day) two asbestos pads (third day) three little beakers (fourth day) four work sheets (fifth day) five golden moles (sixth day) six flaming test tubes (seventh day) seven unknown samples (eighth day) eight [...]

Deck the Labs Deck the labs with rubber tubing Fa la la la la, la la la la. Use your funnel and your filter Fa la la la la, la la la la. Don we now our goggles and aprons Fa la la la la, la la la la. Before we go to our lab [...]