Jokes

An American tourist was visiting a temple in Singapore when he noticed two statues, a man and a woman by the altar. He asked the monk what was the significance of the two. The monk explained that in the Chinese system of yin and yang, positives must always be balanced by negatives, and having the [...]

Char Siew Pao and Mee Kia got involved in an argument. Char Siew Pao got very angry and shouted at Mee Kia, “I’m going to find my gang to hantam you!” So Char Siew Pao went to round up Leng Yong Pau and Tau Sar Pow. Just then, Maggi Mee walked around the corner. Immediately, [...]

Under One Roof… Singapore is PAP, Government wants Money. Lee Kuan Yew is property, Lee Hsien Loong is stamp duty, Mah Bow Tan is COE, Lim Hng Kiang is HDB Richard Hu is GST Tony Tan is ARMY, Yeo Cheow Tong is JTC, Tarmugi is ‘apa ini?’, Lim Boon Heng talks NTUC, BG Yeo talks [...]

Two Italian men and a lady stranded on a desert island; – The two fought and one KILLED the other to have the lady. Two American men and a lady stranded on a desert island; – They both had the lady TOGETHER. Two French men and a lady stranded on a desert island; – They [...]

Mahathir was so disappointed with his cabinet for being inefficient and corrupt that he decided to call on Goh Chok Tong and ask him how he managed to have such an efficient and incorruptible cabinet. On hearing Mahathirs woes, PM Goh said, “Simple, Mahathir, I choose able men for my cabinet.” Mahathir asked, “Yes, but [...]

Following last week’s announcement that suicide in Singapore will be regulated, the government has decided to make suicide a capital offence. “Suicide is a deadly serious matter of life or death,” said Minister for Suicide Mr. Yeow Teow Loh. “We cannot let citizens decide important things by their own hands and affect our manpower projections.” [...]

Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one “Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid… you don’t believe? Let me show you.” and he called his driver Ah Beng over and said “Ah Beng, here is a 10 dollar note, go to the [...]

One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a Filipino and a Singaporean. However, someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses couldn’t differentiate between them. However, the head sister had a bright idea. She lined the babies up in front of her and exclaimed, “Heil Hitler!” At [...]

How Singapore got its name Version 1 : When Raffles stepped out of his boat on to Boat Quay, a man was running by announcing the birth of his son in hokkien. ‘see ta poh, see ta poh’ Version 2 : I thought the story was like this : The malay/indian king, Parameswara, was sleeping [...]

A Singapore PR (previously came from Malaysia) named Ah Meng was just arriving in Hell, and was told he had a choice to make. He could go to Singapore Hell or to Malaysia Hell. Naturally, An Meng wanted to compare the two, so he wandered over to Malaysia Hell. There outside the door was Ah [...]