Category Archive for 'Singapore Jokes'

Singapore And Government

Thursday, July 28th, 2005

Two British men and a lady stranded on a desert island - they each took gentlemanly turns with the lady.
Two Italian men and a lady stranded on a desert island - the two fought and one killed the other to have the lady.
Two American men and a lady stranded on a desert island - […]

Shoot Out The Lights

Thursday, July 28th, 2005

Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his elderly patients.
He asks, “And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?” Mr. Lim replies, “I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it’s the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom light goes on for […]

Shit

Thursday, July 28th, 2005

One day, Ah Choy & Ah Seng were walking down the Chinatown when they saw something in their path.
“Wait!” cried Ah Choy.
“Wat is lat ho?”
“Yah ho! Be carefool lo,” warned Ah Seng.
“Wat is it?” They approached the thing and looked at it very closely. “Eee.. look like shit lah!” say Ah […]

Pig With Wooden Leg

Thursday, July 28th, 2005

The MP was making his rounds through the Sembawang kampung area. In Ah Chye’s kampung house, the MP noticed a pig with a wooden leg hobbling about.
“Excuse me,” the MP said to ah Chye, “but why does that pig have a wooden leg?”
“Oh, it’s like this, sir… one night a robber entered our […]

Miss Singapore

Thursday, July 28th, 2005

One of the main reasons why in recent years the Singapore Government has always ensured that their Miss Universe representative were of tertiary level education or higher was because of the following incident which occurred not too many years ago. It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3 finalists, Miss […]

Michael Fay

Thursday, July 28th, 2005

There is an American named Michael Fay
He loves to take our public signs away
Sometimes graffiti on our cars he spray
Until by the police he was caught one fine day
The Chief Justice to Michael he says
” A small fine you shall have to pay ”
” Four months in Queenstown Remand you’ll stay ”
” With six strokes […]

Mess Transit

Thursday, July 28th, 2005

On a crowded public SBS bus, an Ah Lian got aboard and refused to budge from the her position near the front door. Her only response to the demands from the bus driver was, “Wah ai go Or-Chard Load!”
Nothing the bus driver did could make her move to the rear of the bus.
Finally, […]

Mental Problems

Thursday, July 28th, 2005

One day at the psychiatrists office, a short, fat man came in, stood in front of the desk and shouted at the psychiatrist ‘HOI! Bow to me, lowly Chinese! I am General Yamashita! Hahahahaha …’ and the psychiatrist says ‘What makes you think that you are General Yamashita?’ and the man says ‘Because God made […]

Kung Fu

Thursday, July 28th, 2005

Two kung-fu masters were carrying on about their respective skills. “Why, my reflexes are such that you will not believe,” boasted Master Foo and drawing his sword, he sliced at a passing fly, which promptly dropped dead in two pieces.
“That’s nothing,” said Master Koh. Drawing his sword, he made two deft cuts at […]

Just Wondering

Thursday, July 28th, 2005

A young punker gets on the cross-town bus. He’s got spiked, multi-colored hair that’s green, purple and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of rags, his legs are bare and he’s without shoes. His face and ears are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big bright feathers.
He sits down in the […]