Jokes » Society and Culture Jokes

the man on one leg

Administrator — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:24:07 +0000

what do you call a sikh man on one leg?
balance-singh!!!!!!

Brain Tumor

Administrator — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:23:19 +0000

There’s a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the ‘mayyat’ are dancing the bhangra and singing and general ‘balle balle’ is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?; …..comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;

AIDS

Administrator — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:22:53 +0000

Sardar Garbhajan singh went for his usual morning walk. At one junction he found a crowd. One man holding a syringe on one hand and the famous actress on the other hand. He threatens to inject the liquid which contain AIDS virus in to her body unless he is given a ransom of 10 corers of Rupees . Police men are helplessly watching. At this moment Garbachen rushed to the man and has a fight, he dropped the syringe, Police men arrested him. On the next day a ceremony is conducted to reward Garbachen. The chief guest CM of punjab while giving away the reward asked to the Garbachen ” We are proud of you How did you show that much of courage even if you are aware of AIDS ?” Garbachen said “Sir I always wear a condom to avoid AIDS”

A Police Story

Administrator — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:22:13 +0000

Three police squads , The Scotland Yard police , The NY Police and the Punjab Sardar brigade contest for the best police force ward . The judges lead them to the Gir forest of India and assign them the mission . He who captures an adult Lion and brings it back alive in the fastest time will be adjudged the best . First Scotland yard goes into the forest and comes back in half an hour with a Lion all tied up . Then the NY police go in and come back in 15 minutes with a tied up lion. Lastly the sardar brigade goes in . 15 minutes , half an hour , one hour goes and no sign of our saradrjis The judges give up and decide to search for them . They go into the forest . After some searching , they find the sardarjis all excitedly yelling near a tree . The sardarjis have tied up a big bear to a tree and one of them is shouting , “Bol tu sher Hai ! Saala Bol ! tu Sher Hai !! ” (Admit that you are a lion! You are a lion).

A Bolt of Lightning

Administrator — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:19:56 +0000

One day a priest was playing baseball. A nun was cheerleading near first base.

The priest was up to bat. The pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said “Dammit!
I missed!”

“Don’t you say that mister or God will strike you with a bolt of lightning,” the nun said.

Again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said “Dammit!
I missed!”

“If you say that one more time mister, God will strike you with a bolt of lightning,” the nun said.

Once again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said “Dammit! I missed!”

A bolt of lightning strikes the nun and God says “Dammit! I missed!”

S.O.B.

Administrator — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:18:27 +0000

Girl: “Forgive me father for I have sinned.”
Priest: “What have you done my child?”
Girl: “I called a man a son of a bitch.”
Priest: “Why did you call him a son of a bitch?”
Girl: “Because he touched my hand.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call a man a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he touched my breast.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touched her breast)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he took off my clothes, father.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: “YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!”
Priest: (after a few minutes): “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “But father he had AIDS!”
Priest: “THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!”

Religious Cruise

Administrator — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:17:45 +0000

A Rabbi, a Protestant minister and a Catholic Priest were taking a party of kids on a cruise. Suddenly the ship hit a rock and began to sink.

The Rabbi cried out: “Quick! The kids!”

“Fuck the kids!” said the minister, heading out.

“Do you think we have time?” said the priest.

Newlyweds Joining the Church

Administrator — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:15:51 +0000

Three prospective church goers attend a meeting with the clergy of a local church and ask to become members. The three, an older couple, a middle age couple and a young newlywed couple are told that to become members it is required that they abstain from sex for two full weeks and then return.

Two weeks pass and all three return and the clergyman asks each couple if they have fulfilled the requirement laid out at the first meeting.

The elderly gentleman says that they have and are ready to join the church.

The middle age couple advise that the first week was okay but during the second week the husband had to sleep on the couch. Nonetheless, they made it and are ready to join the church.

The newlyweds hang their heads and the husband says, “Well, father, my wife was bending over taking something from the freezer the day after our meeting and I couldn’t stop myself. I took her right on the spot.”

“I’m sorry,” says the clergyman to the young couple, “but, you are forbidden from coming back to this church.”

“I figured that,” says the husband, “cause we can’t go back to the grocery store either.”

Let’s Get Married

Administrator — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:15:11 +0000

A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.

On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pant legs to keep his trousers dry.

When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. “Pull down your pants, whispered the pastor.

“Uh, Reverend, I’ve changed my mind,” the groom responded. “I think I would prefer the traditional service.”

Jesus is watching

Administrator — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:14:55 +0000

One evening this burglar decides to rob a house, so hes walking up and down the street and finally his eyes fall upon the biggest house. So he breaks the window and climbs in and starts throwing everything he can find into his pouch, when from the shadows he hears a small voice say,
“Jesus is Watching.”
So the burglar stops what hes doing, terrified, and looks around. His eyes fall upon the large bird cage in the corner and he walks over to it.
“You talkin’ to me, bird!?” He demands and the bird looks him square in the eyes and says,
“Jesus is watching”
So the burglar continue around the house and out of nowhere this huge dog bounds out and starts attacking him, biting his leg,and his arm an the burglar yells at the bird,
“Why didnt you tell me there was a dog!”
and the bird smiled and said “Thats Jesus.”