A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette came in first, the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished.
When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said, ”I don’t want to be a tattletale or anything, but the other two used their arms.”
Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, “Do you think there’s baseball in heaven?”
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, “I dunno. But let’s make a deal: if I die first, […]
There was an Aggie, Longhorn, and a Red Raider who were out hunting. The Aggie brought back a big buck.
”How did you get that?” they all asked.
”I saw the tracks, followed the tracks, and ‘boom’ I shot a buck.” Then the longhorn brought back an elephant.
”How did you get that?” they all asked.
”I saw the […]
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her.
Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?
God: So you will always want […]
It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors’ favor, the home quarterback blew […]
(Sketch by Bud Abbot and Lou Costello)
LOU: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys’ name on the team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I’ll be able to know those fellows?
BUD: All right. But you know, strange as it may […]
A true story, according to the LA Times…..
Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, “Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?”
Wilkins replied, “I don’t know and I don’t care!”
Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball.
“I was the James Bond type of player,” he told his friends. “I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition.”
“Batted .007,” his wife added.
Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball.
“I was the James Bond type of player,” he told his friends. “I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition.”
“Batted .007,” his wife added.
Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
All of them, a crossbar can’t jump!
Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?
They prefer cricket matches!
What stories are told by basketball players?
Tall stories!
Who won the race between two balls of string?
They we’re tied!
Why are football players never asked for dinner?
Because they’re always […]