Lots of Jokes to Make You Laugh
Murphy’s Laws of Martial Arts Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts: The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you’re up against him. The referee will always be looking the other way when you score. The day you leave [...]
Top Ten Signs you’re Not Watching a Real Baseball Team From Late Show with David Letterman; Monday, February 20, 1995 You recognize batter as the kid who sold you a hot dog a couple minutes earlier. Everytime a player slides into second, he busts his hip. They keep shouting “Do over!” When umpire yells, “Strike [...]
Requirements for 11th Degree Black Belt Master of Judo Well before testing for this rank any experienced Judo teacher should have already learned these basic techniques: Escape from Dojo The quick exit to avoid clean up and helping with the mats. Sleeper Stance Standing at the corner of the dojo pretending to be observing the [...]
Snowboarding Lessons When you’re 47 years old, you sometimes hear a small voice inside you that says: “Just because you’ve reached middle age, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take on new challenges and seek new adventures. You get only one ride on this crazy carousel we call life, and by golly you should make the [...]
Supplemental Rules for Bowling If you holler “overs!” before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the “overs”. When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the [...]
Top Baseball Player Demands From Late Show with David Letterman; Friday, August 12, 1994 In case anyone has od’ed on O.J. Simpson coverage or for those who might for some reason not know, the major league baseball player strike began today.] No team flights on Continental Airlines. Goodbye boring baseball hats, hello festive sombreros. Make [...]
Things to do at a Bowling Alley Everytime you throw exclaim “TAKE THAT, YOU!!!” continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out. When ever a strike “X” appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy. Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose [...]
The Top 9 Signs Your City Used Bribes to Become an Olympic Site 9. IOC members seem unconcerned over scheduling conflicts due to the yachting, diving and swimming events all being held in the 34th Street YMCA pool. 8. All 75 of the new hires in the mayor’s office are named either Ingrid or Sven. [...]
After shooting the blank gun to end the half, the Dallas Cowboy players start shootingback with live ammunition. Calling “heads or tails” but never getting any. . . “head” or “tail”. Players get “the wave”. . . refs get “the finger”. Anyone who makes a call against the Detroit Lions risks pissing off their last [...]
NFL Team Lame Names When a football team is having trouble getting into the win column, fans usually assign a more appropriate name to describe that team’s performance. Here is a collection of some of these lame names for the NFL. AFC West: Denver Broncos – Denver Donkeys Kansas City Chiefs – Kansas City Griefs [...]