Jokes » Alabama Jokes http://www.desi-jokes.com Lots of Jokes to Make You Laugh Wed, 03 Feb 2010 10:13:40 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 romantic and funny shayari http://www.desi-jokes.com/romantic-and-funny-shayari.html http://www.desi-jokes.com/romantic-and-funny-shayari.html#comments Fri, 09 Jun 2006 06:05:09 +0000 Administrator http://www.desi-jokes.com/romantic-and-funny-shayari.html Mushkil ka meri unko mukshil se yeki aaya,
Samjhe meri mushkil ko magar badi mushkil se.

Andaz apne dekhte hai aaine me woh,
Aur yebhi dekhte hai ke koi dekhta n ho.

Dil na umid to nahi, nakam hi to hai,
Lambi hai gam ki shyam magar, shyam hi to hai.

Bahut roai hai us aasu ke khatir,
Jo nikalta hai khushi ki intaha per.

Zakhm kuch aaise huai phulo per soya n gaya,
Jisma jalkar khak aakho se raya n gaya.

Aab es hadd pe laya hai intazaar muzhe,
Woh aa bhi jaye to aaye na yaki muzhe.

Ek diya jo sare rah jalane nikle,
Aandhya bankar kai log buzane nikle.

Kamse kam maut se aisi mujhe ummid nahi,
Jindgi tune to diya dhoke pe dhoka

]]> http://www.desi-jokes.com/romantic-and-funny-shayari.html/feed 0 Brains http://www.desi-jokes.com/brains.html http://www.desi-jokes.com/brains.html#comments Fri, 17 Jun 2005 07:48:45 +0000 Administrator http://www.desi-jokes.com/brains.html A football fan walks into a small shop in Birmingham. He spots a bottle labeled “New York Football Player Brains” , $5 an ounce. He asks the clerk if there are any other bottles.
  • The clerk replies, “Well, we’ve got Tennessee brains for $10 an ounce, and Alabama football brains for $1,000,000 an ounce.”
  • The man says, “Why the big difference in price?”
  • The clerk answers,”Do you know how many Alabama football players we have to kill to get an ounce of brains!”
    • ]]>     http://www.desi-jokes.com/brains.html/feed 0     Can’t Get Out! http://www.desi-jokes.com/cant-get-out.html http://www.desi-jokes.com/cant-get-out.html#comments Fri, 17 Jun 2005 07:47:57 +0000 Administrator http://www.desi-jokes.com/cant-get-out.html An Alabama fan was driving down a country road when he came upon two Auburn football players hitchiking. He told the Auburn players to jump in the back of his pick-up truck. He then drove down the dirt road rather fast and lost control of the truck as they were going around a curve. The truck landed in a lake. The Alabama fan scrambled to the surface and swam to the bank. When he looked back at the lake, the two Auburn football players were still sitting in the bed of the truck looking frantic.
  • As the truck began sinking the Bama fan yelled for the Auburn players to get out truck, to which they replied, “We’re tryin’ to get out, but we can’t get the dang tailgate open!”
    • ]]>     http://www.desi-jokes.com/cant-get-out.html/feed 0     Firing Squad http://www.desi-jokes.com/firing-squad.html http://www.desi-jokes.com/firing-squad.html#comments Fri, 17 Jun 2005 07:47:17 +0000 Administrator http://www.desi-jokes.com/firing-squad.html A Bama alum, a Tennesse alum and an Auburn alum have been captured by Iraqi forces and are about to be executed by firing squad.
  • First, the Bama alum is blindfolded and placed in front of the firing squad. The Iraqi officer said, “Ready, aim….”
  • The Bama alum yells “Sandstorm!” and all the Iraqis hit the dirt and the Bama alum runs away.
  • The Tennesse guy was placed in front of the firing squad. The officer said “Ready, aim…..”;
  • The Tennesseean shouted ” Tornado!!!!”. All the Iraqis again hit the dirt while the Volunteer escaped.
  • The auburn guy thought this was great. When he was blindfolded, again the officer shouted “Ready, aim….”
  • The Aubie shouted “FIRE!”
    • ]]>     http://www.desi-jokes.com/firing-squad.html/feed 0     Doughnut Seeds http://www.desi-jokes.com/doughnut-seeds.html http://www.desi-jokes.com/doughnut-seeds.html#comments Fri, 17 Jun 2005 07:46:06 +0000 Administrator http://www.desi-jokes.com/doughnut-seeds.html An Alabama and an Auburn cheerleader where each late for breakfast at cheerleading camp so they had to eat cereal instead of a hot breakfast.
  • The Alabama cheerleader fixed her bowl of Cheerios and went to sit at a nearby table.
  • The Auburn cheerleader picked up the box and started to poor herself some, but suddenly stopped with a dumb look on her face.
  • The Alabama cheerleader asked her what was wrong, to which the Auburn cheerleader replied, “Nothing. I’ve just never seen doughnut seeds before!”
    • ]]>     http://www.desi-jokes.com/doughnut-seeds.html/feed 0     Question ans answer http://www.desi-jokes.com/question-ans-answer-2.html http://www.desi-jokes.com/question-ans-answer-2.html#comments Fri, 17 Jun 2005 07:45:16 +0000 Administrator http://www.desi-jokes.com/question-ans-answer-2.html Q. What is the difference between a litter of puppies and Alabama fans?
  • A. The puppies stop whining after 6 weeks.
  • Two Auburn fans are walking in the woods. One says, “Look! A dead bird.”
  • The other one looks up into the sky and says, “Where?”
  • Q. Do you know the difference between an Auburn fan getting run over by a car and an Alabama fan?
  • A. There are skid marks in front of the Bama fan!!
  • Two innebriated Auburn fans are walking along a railroad track.
  • One says, “Darn! These stairs are killin’ me!”
  • The other says, “It’s ain’t the stairs I can’t stand, it’s the low handrails!”
  • Q. What’s a seven course meal at Auburn?
  • A. A possum and a six-pack.
  • Q. Do you know why Terry Bowden was fired?
  • A. He was too short to step down.
  • An Alabama offensive lineman who doesn’t hold, a humble Florida Gator, and Santa Claus all checked into the same hotel. As they entered the elevator, they spotted a $50 bill on the floor. Who ended up with the money and why?
  • Answer: Santa Claus – the other two aren’t real!
  • Q. What do they put on the bottoms of Coke bottles at Auburn?
  • A. Please open other end.
  • This year’s Auburn team is so sorry they have to buy a house just to get a yard.
  • Q. How do you keep an Auburn football player out of your yard?
  • A. Put a goal post in it.
  • Q. How many Alabama fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
  • A. Just one, but it takes a roomfull to sit around and talk about how the BEAR would have done it.
    • ]]>     http://www.desi-jokes.com/question-ans-answer-2.html/feed 0     Length vs. Height http://www.desi-jokes.com/length-vs-height.html http://www.desi-jokes.com/length-vs-height.html#comments Fri, 17 Jun 2005 07:43:04 +0000 Administrator http://www.desi-jokes.com/length-vs-height.html Two Auburn Engineering students were tasked to measure the height of a flag pole as a class assignment. They decided to measure the flag pole outside of Legion Field at the south end of the stadium. While attempting this task one student would hold the tape while the other climbed the flag pole with the other end of the tape. Much to their disappointment the student climbing the pole kept sliding down and could not get to the top.
  • An astute Alabama graduate was observing from a distance and suggested that the Auburn students disconnect the flag pole and measure the pole while on the ground.
  • The Auburn students enraged by the suggestion yelled out ” We want to know how tall it is not how long it is you idiot”
    • ]]>     http://www.desi-jokes.com/length-vs-height.html/feed 0     You’re probably an Auburn fan if … http://www.desi-jokes.com/youre-probably-an-auburn-fan-if-2.html http://www.desi-jokes.com/youre-probably-an-auburn-fan-if-2.html#comments Fri, 17 Jun 2005 07:42:30 +0000 Administrator http://www.desi-jokes.com/youre-probably-an-auburn-fan-if-2.html … You can play the Auburn fight song using your armpit.
  • … Your wife’s idea of cleaning house is throwing everything out into the yard.
  • … The Roto-Rooter man stops by your trailer and asks, “What’s that smell?”
  • … You’re a member of the Skoal Frequent Purchaser Program.
  • … You looked up your family tree and your uncle spit on you.
  • … You joined Alcoholics Anonymous so you can drink and use a different name.
  • … You looked out for #1 and stepped in #2 !!!
  • … You won’t buy a Japanese car because you’re afraid you won’t understand what they say on the radio.
  • … Your kids go to a private school and they won’t tell you where it is.
  • … Your Granny beats you in the tobacky spittin’ contests.
    • ]]>     http://www.desi-jokes.com/youre-probably-an-auburn-fan-if-2.html/feed 0     Stupid Rednecks! http://www.desi-jokes.com/stupid-rednecks.html http://www.desi-jokes.com/stupid-rednecks.html#comments Fri, 17 Jun 2005 07:40:49 +0000 Administrator http://www.desi-jokes.com/stupid-rednecks.html A guy went to Tuscaloosa and picked up one of those new Mercedes. He was testing it out in the parking lot, turned on the radio and nothing happened.
  • Furious, he demanded to see the sales manager, and told him “When I buy a $50,000 car I expect the dang radio to work.”
  • The sales manager explained to him that the radio had been programmed to his voice and all he had to do was tell the radio what he wanted to hear.
  • He got back into the car and said “Country music,” and old Willie Nelson started singing. “Rock and roll,” he exclaimed, and immediately Elvis started crooning. “Easy listening,” he remarked, and all at once it sounded like he was in an elevator. He was relaxed, driving up I-59 to Birmingham, and listening to smooth sounds.
  • Then a pickup truck with two good ole boys almost ran him off the road. “Stupid rednecks!” he screamed. The radio immediately blurted out, “TOUCHdooooooooown AllaBAAAAAAAmaaa!!!!”
    • ]]>     http://www.desi-jokes.com/stupid-rednecks.html/feed 0     Question and Answer http://www.desi-jokes.com/question-and-answer-2.html http://www.desi-jokes.com/question-and-answer-2.html#comments Fri, 17 Jun 2005 07:39:52 +0000 Administrator http://www.desi-jokes.com/question-and-answer-2.html Q. How do you keep Freddie Kitchens from hitting you with a football?
  • A. Wear a Bama jersey!
  • Q. How did the Alabama student die from drinking milk?
  • A. The cow fell on him!
  • Q. Why do Alabama students have TGIF on their shoes?
  • A. Toes Go In First!
  • Q. Did you hear about the Alabama quarterback who tried to throw himself on the floor in a fit of rage?
  • A. He missed!
  • Mom: Only 2 more minutes until 1998.
  • Dad: I’m going to bed.
  • Son: But Dad, you’re going to miss the ball drop….
  • Dad: Hey Son, I’ve seen it plenty of times..I’m an Alabama fan you know!!
  • Q. What is the one thing that keeps so many Alabama football players from graduating?
  • A. CLASSWORK!
  • Q. Did you hear about the Alabama fan who froze to death?
  • A. He went to the drive in…He sat through “Closed for the season”!!
  • Q. How do you get an Auburn student off your porch?
  • A. Pay him for the pizza!
  • Two Auburn fans have been walking in the woods for eight hours when they stop and one turns to the other and says, “I’m cutting the next Christmas tree we find, lights or no lights.”
  • Q. What’s the difference between a University of Alabama sorority sister and a scarecrow?
  • A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
    • ]]>     http://www.desi-jokes.com/question-and-answer-2.html/feed 0