Category Archive for 'Canada Jokes'

Newfoundland Jokes

Saturday, June 18th, 2005

A Mainlander was driving down the highway and he ran over a rabbit. Wondering what had happened, he stopped his car and got out to look. As he is standing there, looking at the dead rabbit, a Newfie drives by. The Newfie, wondering if he can help, stops and asks the Mainlander what’s up.
Mainlander: […]

Showing A Horse

Saturday, June 18th, 2005

There was a guy he walked into this bar. On the door it read “If you can make my horse laugh then I will give you $50″.
So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. So he went out in the back alley and came back and […]

Newfoundland Survival Kit

Saturday, June 18th, 2005

Now that the summer is upon us, you might be considering a visit to Canada’s youngest province. Here are a few survial tips:
a) Memorize all of the jokes at this site. Every Newfoundlander will be impressed that you have taken the time to learn about our culture and can quote these jokes verbatum.
b) Always refer […]

The Genie

Saturday, June 18th, 2005

A drunk guy was stumbling home one day when he got lost and found himself in the bush. He fell to the ground and noticed a lamp. He picked it up, and rubbed it, and out came a genie.
“You have three wishes, choose them wisely.” says the Genie.
The guy, looking down at his last, and […]

You know you are in Vancouver when…

Saturday, June 18th, 2005

Your co-worker tells you he has eight body piercings - none are visible.
You make well over $100,000 and you still can’t find a nice place to live.
You think anyone who drives a car to work is decadent.
You keep a list of companies to boycott.
You would never dream of crossing a picket […]

Report from the picket line at Depot 74, Vancouver; Day One

Saturday, June 18th, 2005

12:00 High noon, and tensions are high as well. Management is hiding inside the depot, so to set an example for the world and save face we will have to beat one of our own union members into a bloody pulp with a baseball bat. Volunteers are requested.
12:01 No one volunteers. Morale seems low. […]

Top 10 Reasons To Live in Alberta, Canada

Saturday, June 18th, 2005

1. Big Rock
2. Preston Manning
3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approximately 200 percent
4. The Premier is a fat, wife-beating alcoholic with a grade 4 education
5. Flames vs. Oilers
6. Stamps vs. Eskies
7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of
8. Eventually, it will be your […]

Top 10 Reasons To Live in British Columbia, Canada

Saturday, June 18th, 2005

1.Weed
2.Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges
3.The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder
4.The local wine doesn’t taste like malt vinegar
5.Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
6.A university with a nude beach
7.You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
8.If a cop pulls you over, just […]

Top 10 Reasons To Live In Saskatchewan, Canada

Saturday, June 18th, 2005

1.You never run out of wheat
2.Those cool Saskatewan Wheat Pool hats
3.Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
4.Your province is really easy to draw
5.You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard
6.It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor’s house
7.YOUR Roughriders survived
8.You can […]