1. Atlanta is comprised entirely of one way streets. The only way to get out of Downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.
2. All directions start with, “Go down Peachtree…” and include the phrase, “When you see the Waffle House…”
3. Peachtree Street has no beginning and no [...]
Going to Chicago
There was this blonde who bought a coach ticket to go to Chicago. She boards the plane and sits in the first class area. The flight attendant approaches her and says “Excuse miss, your ticket says coach so you’ll have to move to the coach area.”
The blonde explains, “I’m blonde and beautiful, [...]
A wicked Chicago man died and went to the place all wicked people go. The Devil decided to shove him in a room and cranked the heat and humidity up.
The man smiled. When the Evil One asked why the man was smiling he said: “Just like Chicago in Spring”
So the Most Evil One cranked up [...]
Twenty major events that have occurred since the Chicago Cubs last laid claim to a World Series championship:
1. Radio was invented; Cubs fans got to hear their team lose.
2. TV was invented; Cubs fans got to see their team lose.
3. Baseball added 14 teams; Cubs fans get to see and hear their team lose to [...]
“It’s hard to put your finger on it. You have to have a dullness of mind and spirit to play here. I went through pyschoanalysis and that helped me deal with my Cubness.”–Jim Brosnan, former Cubs pitcher
“Noise pollution can’t be that much of a problem. There’s nothing to cheer about.”–State rep. John F. Dunn, [...]
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Sox fans too. Not really knowing what a Sox fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, [...]
A man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there.
When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be passing up a big salary increase [...]
Your co-worker tells you s/he have 8 body piercings but none are visible.
When someone says TENDERLOIN – you don’t think of steak. You think of danger.
You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have [...]
“One day a Newfie goes down to the village carpenter and requests a wooden crate that is 1 inch tall, 1 inch wide and 50 feet long.”
When the carpenter asks what he needs it for, the Newfie replies “The wife snapped her clothesline the other day, and I have to send it to Toronto to [...]