Every philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room; Marxist philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room, but the cat isn’t there; Soviet philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room, the cat isn’t there, but you keep shouting “I’ve found it! […]
One night, Erich Honnecker was in the bedchamber having some pillow talk with his mistress. He was in a magnanimous mood and offered her a present of her choice. She thought about his offer for a moment and then replied, “Oh, Erich, if there is one thing I would like you to do for me, […]
What do you call a Lada on a hill?
A bloody miracle.
What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User’s Manual?
The bus and train timetables.
One sunny day on the North Sea a creative little boy was playing in the sand trying to decide what to make. He discovered some Scheiss (you can guess what that is) on the beach so he decided to make a VoPo (People’s Policeman). Just as he was finishing, along comes a VoPo, trying to […]
Erich Honnecker (the president of East Germany) was invited to Moscow by Gorbachev for a visit. After weeks of preparation by Gorby, Honnecker arrives in Moscow. As part of the celebration activities, there is a big parade through the streets of Moscow. While the two are watching the parade, Gorbachev takes a small boy aside […]
Three prison inmates were locked in the same cell; they soon began talking. “What are you here for?” asked one inmate of another. “They put me in for beating up some old Jew named Khaimovich,” snarled one man. “And why are you here?” asked the second of the first. “For having defended some old Jew […]
When Stalin was in office, he once noted that there were mice in his study and complained to President Kalinin about this. The President thought for a moment and suggested, “Why don’t you put up a sign reading ‘Collective Farm’? Half the mice will die of hunger and the other half will run away.”
What’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union?
It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s.
In Spain they use a garotte.
It’s pretty g’rotty.