Jokes

The Top Bad Response For Guys To Give To The “How Do I Look” Question “That’s a great outfit honey but Halloween was 6 weeks ago.” “I ain’t seen a caboose that big since Amtrak left town.” “Uh-uh, the last time I answered that question, I went temporarily blind.” “Ssshhh, the games on right now..go [...]

Top Things You Should Not Say To A Judge “I got your community service right here pal!” “Boy your chamber sure does look different with the lights on.” “You couldn’t carry Wapner’s gavel you moron!” “You’re not as easy to buy as others said you were.” “No you robe wearing geek.” “I don’t suppose there’s [...]

Top Advantages of An Asteroid Really Hitting Earth For starters, you’d be able to surf in South Dakota. Wouldn’t have to hear that garbage Aerosmith song anymore. The one dinosaur on the planet (here’s a clue..he’s purple) would be extinct. We’d miss out on Tony Danza’s or Jenny McCarthy’s next sitcom. Puts a major damper [...]

The Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth. His restrooms are labeled “Bleeders” and “Non-Bleeders” Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance. Does an extensive search for cavities…dental and body. He…ummm..licks his tools clean. Gets mad when you mention that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed line. [...]

The Top 10 Reasons Disney Delayed Launching Their Cruise Line Pluto’s “accident” on Deck 3 Room service using Aladdin was getting out of hand. Exterminator killed off “rat” problem only to discover they were Mickey and Minnie’s cousins. Drunken dispute between Donald and The Mighty Ducks over who was mightier. Charo kept showing up. The [...]

The Top 10 Least Popular Halloween Handouts Spinach flavored Rice Cakes. Teeth removing Taffy Metamucil in a straw Ex-Lax Brownies Caramel Covered Zucchini Colored Crisco on a Stick Hot steaming bowl of pumpkin guts Chocolate Covered Prunes A Handful of Red Man Anything that ticks!

The Top 10 Least Desirable Fortunes in a Fortune Cookie We know where you live. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes. Everyone’s meal today is on you! The “special sauce” came from the floor! Guess what our special “drop” was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!! Your [...]

The Top Recently Rejected Saturday Morning Cartoons “Billy, the Homicidal Smurf.” “Scooby and Shaggy Go To The Retirement Home.” “Archie, the Abcessed Tooth.” “Yosemite Sam…UNCENSORED!” “The Golden Girls meet The Power Rangers.” “Da Boys in Mister Rogers Neighborhood.” “The Land of The Lost…The Barney Years.” “COPS” in full color animation!

The Top 10 Signs Your Broker Was Affected by the Stock Market Crash “He can’t come to the phone right now..he’s on the ledge.” “He won’t be in today…he was made an offer and he refused.” “He left the building and not via the elevator..if you catch my drift.” “I’m sorry, sir..she’s not in…she’s out [...]

Top reasons why it’s great to be French Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time You get to eat insect food like snails and frog’s legs If there’s a war you can surrender really early You don’t have to read the subtitles on those late night films on [...]