June 17th, 2005
. . .you take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all the way to your wrists.
. . .you know that the term “Break Up” has more to do with the weather than personal relationships.
. . .your monthly phone bill is larger than your house payment.
. . .there is a bottle of Avon’s Skin-So-Soft in your tackle box.
. . .you don’t know anyone who doesn’t own a 4-wheeler.
. . .you have ever taken a trip “outside” and tried to cash a traveler’s check, drawn on an Alaskan bank, and the cashier asked you the current exchange rate in Alaska.
. . .you have ever washed your car while there was still snow on the ground.
. . .you have ever power washed your car by parking driver’s side into the rain in the morning, and passenger side into the rain in the afternoon. (a Dutch Harbor thing)
. . .you have tennis elbow but have never played tennis, just snagged a lot of salmon.
. . .you know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it’s not really full of honey. (If you don’t know, don’t ask)
. . .you know that the Rat Net is not a rodent catching device.
. . .you know the Naknek twitch is an illegal fishing technique, not a spasmodic muscle in your neck.
. . .you travel for two days to get outside but none of your family members will travel more than two minutes to visit you.
. . .you learned to swim indoors.
. . .you leave your Christmas lights up, year round, because as soon as it gets warm enough to take them down it starts getting dark enough to put them up again.
. . .your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil.
. . .you had waffle soles put on your cowboy boots.
. . .your monthly veterinarian bill is more than your own medical bill.
. . .you know that a “handi-man-jack” is a device designed to lift a car to change a flat, not a guy named Jack that comes around your house on Saturdays to repair minor problems.
. . .you know a “white out” has to do with winter conditions not correcting fluid for typos.
Posted in State Jokes | By Administrator